Illicit went to Mayrhofen and this is what we found...

Last week we went snowboarding in Mayrhofen and while we were there we noticed a few strange things...

By law all Austrian booze labels must include a portrait of a creepy beardy old geezer

"Hey ladies, as you can tell from this nocturnal bird on my shoulder, I'm a hooters man."

Although they do occasionally use creepy groin-thrusting young men to mix things up.

You can ratchet up the creepy factor by tooling your old beardy bloke up with a shotgun.

Fancy a glass of old man spit?

The Jolly Creepy Green Giant

This stuff was 50% proof. I don't read Austrian, but from the picture it seems to be some sort of potion to turn everyone into old creepy beardy men.

If you don't have a painting of a sinister old man to decorate your booze the other alternative is to package it in a giant cartoon sperm.

And if you want something to go with your spunk drink, why not try a large chocolate...

Or maybe some...

I bought some of these....they were cream-filled :|

Snowbombing does't quite look like what I was expecting

One of the biggest ski resort music festivals, Snowbombing is based in Mayrhofen. Here's what you can look forward to this year...

That's one impressive white leather cock flap

I spotted that poster outside one bar and a little way down the street was this...

The Freddy Pfister Band.

And if that didn't already look like the sort of van you should never hitch a ride in, here's what was on the back...

Pfister goes full Shawshank.

The hits don't stop there. In one shop I found a whole stash of CDs from the local noise makers.

Marc Pircher and his wind box

Schürzenjäger (which means heartbreaker) and their magnificent hair and team tank tops

The squinty-eyed Ursprung Baum

The Zillertaler Mander and their unmissable album Milk Machining with Folk Music

Local lads Die Mayrhofner and their classic ode to Mother Teresa.

Here's Die Mayrhofner and his well groomed moustache getting sinister with some kids

And finally Die Mayrhofner again, this time with a seriously questionable cartoon representation of a black man

Still, maybe it's just a one off and usually that sort of thing isn't acceptable in Mayrhofen.

Sex obsessed toy shops

I found those bathing fellas in one of the local souvenir/toy shops. It's clearly very wrong, but strangely it wasn't at all that out of place. In a store filled with small children, and in amongst the Star Wars and Lego were a host of really dubious things...